Psionics Humor and Entertainment

Q: How many empaths does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None--most of them would rather sit around in the dark
(submitted by an empath...)

Q: How many Energizers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: 5--One to do it, two to fight over it, one to brag he could have done it better, and one to go into Glorified State over the whole thing.

Q: How many Haute`s does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: 5--One to get drunk, one to get stoned, one to have sex, one to find religion, and one to commit suicide--and it STILL doesn't get done.

Q: How many Switchers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Can you even find a Switcher? If you do find one, he'll probably try to imitate a lightbulb, then say he changed it.

Q: How many Synchronizers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: It's really hard to say how many of them there are, but they're all doing it together...

Q: How many Phase-Switchers does it take to change lightbulb?
A: Only one, but when you mention it has to be done, you suddenly can't find him anymore.

Q: How many Telepaths does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: 2--one to yell for the other to bring in their telekinetic friend to do it for them.
(--Scendera)

Q: How many Telekinetics does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Only one, but a whole box of lightbulbs to replace the ones that get blown up by accident.
(--Scendera)

Q: How many Nons does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: One--he just gets up off his butt and does it.

Never...

Never challenge a phoenix to a psi-duel.

Never get into a personality contest with a Haute'.

Never try to find a Switcher.

Never tease a psi-vamp.

Never piss off a telekinetic

Quotable...

"Nice theory...really BIG hole in it, but a nice theory..."
--Lorax

"I don't mind religion until it starts screwing around with psionics and technology...especially technology."
--Conrad Force

"If I am a "leech", I am a much more efficient one than you."
--Anka

"Beyond that, there is more than one way to skin a construct. There is more than one way to be good at psionics."
--Anka

"I am quite aware of my abnormalities, mutations, and health problems, thank you."
--Anka

"Ouch! It burns! It burns!"
--PsiWing, upon his first encounter with a Ward (radionics device)

Psi Last Words: "I wonder what would happen if I did this...."
--Anka

"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but...hey...hey guys, that's not what I....OW! OW! OWWWWW!"
--Arknight

"PSIONICS: Pretty Sarcastic Individuals On Numerous Illegitimate Caffeine Shakes."
--Lilac, from #psionic_issues on IRC

"Neural suppressant shields: Nature's little fallout shelter."
--Nazarak

"WHY DO I HEAR VOICES IN MY HEAD??!! Oh...I forgot, I'm telepathic..."
--DanielH

"Thus, I'm energy, with more energy. Kinda like a butter-dipped butter stick."
--Tetra, in reference to a person who stated they believe everything is energy.

"Why are modern scientists so fricking hard up that they can not say, 'I do not know'? That is the point of science after all, not to know, so you can find out."
--ANKA, to Wing

"Could be like picky or finicky eaters... playing around and pushing bits and pieces of food around instead of just eating it or just saying they aren't hungry, I guess."
--Wing, in response

"You! Out of my aura!"
--Anka

"I will kick your ass!! And if not, then my Uncle Chuckie will!!"
--Anyone who wants it.

"Hell, I don't care if its natural or not as long as it happens when I want it to."
--DanielH

"While the rest of the world uses Windows, you're running Linux".
--Tetra, making a suggestion for an addition to the Psi Genetics Theory description of Generators.

"...And psi-vamps, they run Mac OS X.
--Tetra, with another addition for the Psi Genetics Theory document.

"The Matrix: There is no spoon. Psionics: There is a friggin spoon, now quit complaining and bend it."
--Winged Wolf

"When things aren't working, break the rules"
--classic rule of design

"Push harder.
"Pushing. I'm pushing!"
And breathe! Don't forget to breathe!
"What is this, the Lamaze approach to teleportation?"
--Wm. Mark Simmons, "One Foot In The Grave"

Paranoid? Probably. But just because you're paranoid doesn't mean that there isn't an invisible demon about to eat your face.
--Jim Butcher, "Storm Front"

I suppose IRC is like multiplayer notepad.
--Stony1205

"Be careful with that, or you'll poke your third-eye out."
--Fenix

Dra, can you charge your skin?
i dont know your type of psionics, and its only my 2nd day
Can you charge?
no
OY
Skin maybe not. For everything else, there's Mastercard .
--clipped from the chat channel

"I only miss what I don't hit."
--Elliptic

Xawlus: “I have discovered the more difficult it to get to someone’s id core, the less bratty the id core seems”.
ANKA: “What your saying seems to hold true to psychology and my experience”.
Xawlus: “This really puts the psi in psychology”.

"Fleeing the country is never a "Hmm, I wonder what I'll do today?" decision. "Gee I feel like fleeing the country!" --Elliptic

Mage chatroom regular Draco had this response to overly frequent public discussion of some 'problems' we encountered with a hostile mage group...

© 1997