catacombwhore
02-08-2009, 08:06 PM
I'm a psi vamp for the record, in case anything sounds weird. The person I'm referencing as the thing that's been binding me has been consistent - as soon as I get clear or start getting rid of him, he attacks... it's gotten to the point where I'm back where I was a long time ago... he's angry and crazy and obsessed with me. My friends have tried to help, but it's hard when as soon as there is progress the person attacks again. I've kinda lost hope of anything lasting...
this is jade_ice/bleedsincretic or whatever I was calling myself, wingedwolf helped me remove a construct once, but things have gotten worse...
the reason my energy was not so clear back then but I didn't chat long enough for anyone to catch was because someone has consistently been trying to bind me, it started way back then and has been going on since... I can't function anywhere near as well as I used to, and from the moments of clarity I've had - this person is pretty consistently putting like a coating of nasty energy on my head and neck to prevent me from thinking clearly or block me... which is probably the main impediment to me taking care of this. And there is like a black string wrapped around my upper body and neck,preventing me from taking in energy and process information how I am supposed to. And as soon as I start getting rid of one thing, he throws on something else - like infiltrating my heart chakra from the back, back of my neck, third eye, and root - his energy also blocks the points I take in energy in my hands and wrists. They haven't stopped in like the past 2 years, and seem bent on controlling me, my perceptions and my life. I *do* understand what's going on, but having it go on for so long, especially again after a period where I was free from him and growing and learning is just painful. A lot of damage has been done in the past 2 years, and I guess it's fair for anyone to make a judgment call - like I should have done something different... but I guess with the cirumstances I kinda need someone to accept that I'm being human - that even dealing with that is so disgusting and repulsive to me and triggers me to get worse even if I can do much of anything. I have PTSD caused by this person. Physically, in real life. Not in my imagination. This energy crap just makes dealing with that worse.
Firestorm tried putting a ward on me, but it didn't take, or whatever he was trying to remove was not wholly removed... I don't know, maybe I wasn't ready or clear enough yet. My friends are still trying to help me, but I don't think this kind of thing is their specialty... they can kinda remove him once in a while or block me a bit, but it just comes back. I'm just really tired of having it hound me and was wondering if anyone could help me.
Note: this is *not* a matter of me needing to learn how to do this on my own... I'm certain I can learn how to shield myself again after this stuff is gone, and I know I can be stronger than it, but even thinking about it being there makes me want to rip my skin off and triggers stuff that makes it worse. It's mainly a telepathic and energetic attack from a crazy crazy person. So I'm asking someone else. Please, if you can, help me - I will *more than happily* return the favor or do this for someone else if I can and the need is legitimate or involves these circumstances.
And *yes* this time I am not being self destructive, I am making other parts of my life better and realize the mistakes I have made in the past two years, and am finally ready to, when it's gone, just let it go - not out of fear, but because it is truly worthless to me.
This is all kind of a process of healing, unfortunately the energy part has gotten worse, I'm just not giving into hopelessness as easily...trying to maintain in my head that someone *can* help me. If you managed to get through this and actually want to help, email me at malachitephoenix@gmail.com or talk to me on AIM - serpentflux666.
this is jade_ice/bleedsincretic or whatever I was calling myself, wingedwolf helped me remove a construct once, but things have gotten worse...
the reason my energy was not so clear back then but I didn't chat long enough for anyone to catch was because someone has consistently been trying to bind me, it started way back then and has been going on since... I can't function anywhere near as well as I used to, and from the moments of clarity I've had - this person is pretty consistently putting like a coating of nasty energy on my head and neck to prevent me from thinking clearly or block me... which is probably the main impediment to me taking care of this. And there is like a black string wrapped around my upper body and neck,preventing me from taking in energy and process information how I am supposed to. And as soon as I start getting rid of one thing, he throws on something else - like infiltrating my heart chakra from the back, back of my neck, third eye, and root - his energy also blocks the points I take in energy in my hands and wrists. They haven't stopped in like the past 2 years, and seem bent on controlling me, my perceptions and my life. I *do* understand what's going on, but having it go on for so long, especially again after a period where I was free from him and growing and learning is just painful. A lot of damage has been done in the past 2 years, and I guess it's fair for anyone to make a judgment call - like I should have done something different... but I guess with the cirumstances I kinda need someone to accept that I'm being human - that even dealing with that is so disgusting and repulsive to me and triggers me to get worse even if I can do much of anything. I have PTSD caused by this person. Physically, in real life. Not in my imagination. This energy crap just makes dealing with that worse.
Firestorm tried putting a ward on me, but it didn't take, or whatever he was trying to remove was not wholly removed... I don't know, maybe I wasn't ready or clear enough yet. My friends are still trying to help me, but I don't think this kind of thing is their specialty... they can kinda remove him once in a while or block me a bit, but it just comes back. I'm just really tired of having it hound me and was wondering if anyone could help me.
Note: this is *not* a matter of me needing to learn how to do this on my own... I'm certain I can learn how to shield myself again after this stuff is gone, and I know I can be stronger than it, but even thinking about it being there makes me want to rip my skin off and triggers stuff that makes it worse. It's mainly a telepathic and energetic attack from a crazy crazy person. So I'm asking someone else. Please, if you can, help me - I will *more than happily* return the favor or do this for someone else if I can and the need is legitimate or involves these circumstances.
And *yes* this time I am not being self destructive, I am making other parts of my life better and realize the mistakes I have made in the past two years, and am finally ready to, when it's gone, just let it go - not out of fear, but because it is truly worthless to me.
This is all kind of a process of healing, unfortunately the energy part has gotten worse, I'm just not giving into hopelessness as easily...trying to maintain in my head that someone *can* help me. If you managed to get through this and actually want to help, email me at malachitephoenix@gmail.com or talk to me on AIM - serpentflux666.