Winged_Wolf
03-23-2007, 05:24 PM
psi001
11-02-2006, 04:43 AM
Hey guys this is another poem for English class, I am supposed to write it in Bob Hickoks styles. If you guys aren't too busy please critique this poem, thank you.
Top of a Mountain
At the top
There is nowhere to go
I look for a mountain
An obstacle
Even a hill would do
My hands grope the air
Mind grounded
Heart grounded
Thirst and hunger consuming.
There was a time
when my hands were calloused
my body chained to rocks
my mind soared, my heart glided
I climbed and climbed
I was blocked by obstacle after obstacle
Challenged at every turn.
I hear a sound
I turn around
My hope renewed
An earthquake is rumbling towards me
Splitting the earth it runs through
Threatening to bring down the mountain on which I stand.
It hits
The mountain cracks
But alas, it stands.
I was at the iddle
Rocks rolling down upon me
Hands slipping Buth then I saw it, the top
Emanating with glory
Shining with promise
In wanting it
In climbing my thirst was satiated my hunger quenched
I pulled myselg up
Someone was there, my last obstacle
They fell I stood, But as I stood
My hunger grew.
Now I stand
Looking down on the sheer rocks
Hunger and thirst tempting me
To throw my self down.
Another sound, I see a hand
The person pulls themselves up
We struggle
I now the obstacle, understanding how the previous felt
Wanting to lose but unable to quit
They push me off the mountain
As I fall my mind starts to soar
I hit the ground and start to climb again
My thirst quenched, my hunger extinguished
Again my mind soars, again my hands callouse
And again my body is chained.
11-02-2006, 04:43 AM
Hey guys this is another poem for English class, I am supposed to write it in Bob Hickoks styles. If you guys aren't too busy please critique this poem, thank you.
Top of a Mountain
At the top
There is nowhere to go
I look for a mountain
An obstacle
Even a hill would do
My hands grope the air
Mind grounded
Heart grounded
Thirst and hunger consuming.
There was a time
when my hands were calloused
my body chained to rocks
my mind soared, my heart glided
I climbed and climbed
I was blocked by obstacle after obstacle
Challenged at every turn.
I hear a sound
I turn around
My hope renewed
An earthquake is rumbling towards me
Splitting the earth it runs through
Threatening to bring down the mountain on which I stand.
It hits
The mountain cracks
But alas, it stands.
I was at the iddle
Rocks rolling down upon me
Hands slipping Buth then I saw it, the top
Emanating with glory
Shining with promise
In wanting it
In climbing my thirst was satiated my hunger quenched
I pulled myselg up
Someone was there, my last obstacle
They fell I stood, But as I stood
My hunger grew.
Now I stand
Looking down on the sheer rocks
Hunger and thirst tempting me
To throw my self down.
Another sound, I see a hand
The person pulls themselves up
We struggle
I now the obstacle, understanding how the previous felt
Wanting to lose but unable to quit
They push me off the mountain
As I fall my mind starts to soar
I hit the ground and start to climb again
My thirst quenched, my hunger extinguished
Again my mind soars, again my hands callouse
And again my body is chained.